God's Mysterious Ways.... by Michelle Owen
Written on the 8th month anniversary of my mother's death:


September 23, 2000 (a month and one day prior to my mother's death) she announced she would not endure further cancer treatments or tests. She was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer near her birthday late June, 2000. She asked what kind of sign I would like (should the Lord allow) to know that she had entered heaven. To cover the pain in my heart, I jokingly said "Lottery numbers would be nice". I couldn't bear to think of losing her. After a few moments, I said, "Honestly, Mom, I don't know. Just come and hold me sometime and tell me what Heaven is like. I would like to know what Heaven is like."

Her condition went downhill quickly and in a matter of days, she mostly slept the days away only asking for a drink of water occasionally or other minor requests.

A few nights before my mother's death, she became very alert and responsive. She suddenly was able to hold a conversation, lift herself out of bed and she didn't want to sleep at all. Thrilled to have our mother back again, my mother, my sister and I stayed up all night. Mom wanted us to sing to her and read devotionals. After reading the first devotional to her, she responded with "That is truth! Now, read another." After reading that next one, she again responded, "That is truth too!" I thought to myself what a strange way to phrase it. I would have thought she'd say "That's right" or "That's true", but instead she said "That is truth". I stored this unique phrase in my heart.

Mom took turns holding my sister and I in her arms that night which turned out to be only 3 days before her homecoming. She stroked our faces and hair, giggled and told us how much she loved us. She sang a song to my sister. She could barely speak a whisper before and now she was belting out the words to a song she authored! These hours are so precious to me. The next morning she wanted to leave the house and see how the leaves had turned in the autumn season. She wanted to get dressed and eat out at a restaurant. On that Saturday morning, we dressed her and fixed her hair and face. She was radiant! I expected to see her dance across the room and even she stated "Its a miracle" when she saw her reflection in the mirror. Upon taking her into the living room she clutched her chest in pain and collapsed.

Three days later, she mustered up the last bit of her strength to say "I love you". Words I will cherish forever. Two hours later, I watched her take her last breath and I thanked God for being there to take her to the other side.

Over the next few months, I would use the phrase "Now, that's truth." and smile at the memory it sparked of the last meaningful time I spent with my Mother. It had become to me 'Mom's phrase'.

Around the 5th month anniversary of her death, I started hearing a song on the radio. I didn't know who sang it, but the words to it said "I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean, whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens." The song's lyrics state "Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance", "I hope you never fear the mountains in the distance, that you never settle for the path of least resistance."

I thought to myself, this sounds like what my Mother would want to say to me if she could. I grew up just 2 city blocks from the ocean and spent many an hour at the shore and pondering God and His magnificent creation. Now, I found myself losing heart from missing her so much. She wouldn't want me to lose faith and awe in God

I searched unsuccessfully for the CD. I had my husband and children listen to the song telling them I felt that Ninny would want us to be encouraged by this song. She would want us to dance, to live and to keep the faith.

While walking through a bookstore, I spotted a book called "I Hope You Dance". I grabbed it off the shelf to see if it was about the song and it had the CD in the back of the book. I bought it and immediately sat down to read it. As I tell you what I found in this incredible book, please recall my Mother's phrase "That is truth" and her sign to me of telling me what heaven is like and this overwhelming thought that this song would be what she would be trying to say to us if she could.

The first page of the book has the words to it. The second page had a foreword from the singing artist, LeeAnn Womack. The next page the book began with these words....

"This is from me to you. This is the truth."

(My heart leaped as my mother's phrase confirmed that the words in the song was what she wanted us to know.)

In the pages that followed, one page had a definition of a word torn out of a dictionary... "Heaven (n.): (1) a place somehow high above the clouds, yet deep inside your soul; (2) a place of complete peace, of total and utter happiness; (3) a place that is greater than the sum of everything you will ever be or could ever imagine to be; (4) a place we all want to get to, but just not yet.." Here was my request of knowing what heaven was like. And finally, the last page of the book...

"No this is not the end. It's the beginning."

God had allowed my mother to continue to be the encourager of my soul as she had always been in life. To which my heart dances with hope and responds "That is truth."


Sincerely, Michelle Owen

From Steve Owen, son-in-law and friend...
I realized today that no matter what happens with Ninny I will always have a precious gift which she bestowed upon me. I will always have my wonderful memories of her reaching out to others, and I will always have my most wonderful gift, her daughter...my best...my wife.

I will always warmly remember.... Our Christmas gatherings which she was always such a wonderful part of. A mother in law always ready for adventure, simply ask her and she would participate. A loving mother and grandmother who made certain that each of her children and grandchildren knew the lord. A mother who drove for 4 hours with our children to celebrate our anniversary in Gatlinburg....she had no idea where Gatlinburg was, but said "yes I can find it". A mother who worked long hard extra hours to give her daughter and me a wonderful wedding reception. A friend who always saw only the best in me....when my hair was too long she said that it looked perfect...when I was too heavy she said that I looked like I was losing weight...when I wore an old suit she would quickly point out how good it made me look. I will remember the time that she took my old shoes to have them repaired, because she noticed that I was wearing shoes with holes to work. The wonderful afternoons on the boat, just cruising and enjoying the moments, too few, but highly cherished. I will remember and will strive to duplicate her ability and willingness to put the small things in life aside....there may be an excellent adventure awaiting if we only search it out. I will cherish the fact that Ninny took me in as her son, a son in law was not close enough for her, I feel honored.

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